Skip to main content

Does anybody at this Seattle TV know how to write?

 


I know this is off topic, but I tried to read a story on komonews.com Wednesday about a complicated shooting related to a fire.    I couldn't get past the nce.lead sentence without saying, "Huh?"  Here is the sentence.  How many times does it take you to make sense of it??  

The man who was wounded in a shooting on Sunday in Lake Forest Park after a reported burglary at a townhouse complex near a home that caught fire hours earlier has been identified, according to a police update Wednesday.

First of all, it is passive voice.   The lead of the sentence should be "Police now say they have identified the man...."   That's active voice, where the subject does the action, i.e., police.

Given the complexity of this sentence, running 39 words, (that's a run-on sentence, BTW), how about this:

"Police now say they have identified the man shot Sunday in Lake Forest Park hours after a reported burglary and fire at a nearby home."   (25 words and readable).

OK, lecture over.  

Comments

  1. Your version is much more readable. It sounds like KOMO's website writers need to brush up on their english and grammer.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Rebecca Stevenson has left KOMO

 "I am no longer at Komo 4." Thanks.  Longtime Weather Anchor Rebecca Stevenson confirms that she left the station just before Christmas.  Her last Facebook posts are 12/17.  She has the Seattle station Quintafecta, having worked at the old NWCN, KING, KIRO, KCPQ and KOMO.  Looks like her decision.  Wants a new chapter.   She was doing mainly weekend evenings for KOMO.  Perhaps Stella Sun will move there.   She has been sharing weekend mornings with Theron Zahn.    

Where is Frankie?

Many have missed KIRO 7's weekend PM weather anchor, Frankie Katafias, so I reached out to some of my sources to find an answer.    She is apparently taking a few months of leave, but not known specifically what the reason may be.  Although there is uncertainty, it could be a personal or family matter.   I am told she is expected back at some point in the new year.  She is a great asset to what has become a troubled station.  Meanwhile former KOIN Portland chief met holds down the fort.

A Farewell to this Fox 13 Seattle host

Carly Henderson - co-host of Studio 13: Live - was laid off in the recent KCPQ expansion which we broke.  She posts her goodbye on FB.  She never really clicked on the pay for play lifestyle mid-morning show.   It will be cut to a half hour for awhile and moved to 10 a.m, according to reports, before moving back to 11 on Aug. 4.  And I am told it will remain 30 minutes, not be re-expanded to an hour.   Thank goodness. https://www.facebook.com/share/p/16HFRSYM8x