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TV Halloween tribute sung to the tune of Monster Mash


I was working in the lab late last night,

When my eyes beheld an eerie sight.

Another spelling mistake turned up on the screen,

Use AI, producers, it's really quite keen.


From the laboratory in duop-land,

Buying more stations is clearly at hand.

A few companies left to own all TV,

Courtesy of our FCC


(Chorus)

We put out trash,

We put out monstrous trash.

We call it news,

But it's a demo crash

It's really trash

Makes the zombies sick 

Cause all we want is an instant click.


The scene was rockin',

newsies makin' the rounds

Young MMJ's just keep holdin' their ground.

Stand-ups just need about 20 takes,

No wonder politicos keep calling us fakes.


Seattle stations keep filling the space.

Lots of paid segments slowing the pace.

And as the stale content slowly erodes

They all need a shot from news electrodes 


But everything's cool,

Bari's leadin' the band,

Dickerson's leaving,

Muir's numbers in hand. 

Local anchors still havin' fun,

And the dancing selfies have just begun.


(Chorus)

We read for cash,

We read to salvage cash

Can't make a splash,

Our teeth continue to gnash.

We won't give up, 

It's just not our way 

Smartphones be damned, 

We'll still have our day.







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